Knowledge can't be found in shallow waters. When someone thinks of the word deep they see a hole dug in the ground and no end to the darkness. They are afraid of the dark shadows of the walls of the earth. The earth is what you will find still at the bottom with water and to your luck layers of gold, silver and diamonds!
I have had very depressive moments in my life where I was alone at age 18 when I left home in pursuit if my happiness rather than live in the shadows of my ancestral beliefs about the world. I wanted to know the root if all evil but I fought it with the light in me that my father "creator" put in me. My earthly father never made me believe that things are beyond my reach. He put me through tests while standing by me!
Depression can either kill you or make you stronger. When you look at the shadows "fears of people" of the earth all you need to do is fear no evil. Many will shame you, many will envy you but no one will or has the right to physically harm you! You have rights to life and living but not at others expense. Dad was always a phone call away!
I remember an incident that happened and probably that is when he realised what he needed to do to help his daughter overcome her fears!
I was 5, We went to Russia to visit my Grandfather, we stayed in a hotel 50 story high, and of course with elevators. On one of our trips down the tunnel of the building, on entry into it I asked him to hold my hand. He said "Alsu you are a big girl, you can make it without me! When the door opens all you need to do is follow me"! I heard but didn't understand what he meant and he didn't know. For a kid a 30 flight down is a journey of a life time. I forgot to watch him, I bowed my head down and in a flash the doors opened and my dad was out. Before I regained composure the doors shut right in front of me! I was scared I cried, I felt my life was over. I lost my dad and he will never find me! To my luck the elevators opened at the same 30th floor we were staying and I ran out to the lady who watched the floor and cried to her in the same broken hearted manner as in the elevator and in what seemed like moments my dad was back! Still tall and handsome as he still is. I think from that moment he decided that it was paramount that he thought me how to be confident.
To a child that doesn't know the world everything is big and scary! I had many journeys down the tunnel of life with him and he never held my hand but I could hear his voice, its always in my head "You can make it even if you think you can't"!
Another instance I remember when he thought me to cross the road. I was 6 going on 7. We lived in Adesuwa road Benin city, I always go to the places of my childhood to recollect the memories of events!
There stands my dad and says to me "here is 10kobo go and buy me ground nuts," I looked at him in disbelief, how will I cross that road? He must want me dead! The road today looks like an alley to me but then it seemed like an 8 way highway. He told me "look left and look right, before you cross when you see a car wave at the road and see what happens if they stop then you cross." I summoned courage I followed his rules, on the first lane i remembered all he told me but fear griped me and I forgot about the right side and made a step without looking and a car horned from afar and it made me stumble. When I reached the other side I looked at him for approval, he frowning showed me a thumbs up! On my way back looking at his face, I wasn't afraid and he geared me to remember and this time alI went through smoothly! For me this was my biggest victory and from hence forth have no fear in me. From this point I sought and always remember the rules and carry an inner peace that makes me remember, what is the right thing to do! As an adult i know that i wouldn't recognise the right thing if i don't imagine what the wrong thing is.
Would we have known that there is water flowing in the depths of the earth if someone didn't summon themselves to dig deep? People think that being deep means someone is dark! We fear the dark because we can't see the bottom "the source"! We are so focused on wanting to see the bottom we forget we need to go on down digging through the walls of earthly experiences. We fear to go into a tunnel because we can't see its end! We don't dig deep into our selves to become the torch light that takes not just us through but also those who have a fear in digging deep or going far. We can't overcome the fear that lurks in the surface of our minds, scaring us to test our strengths and see the light on the other side.
Are we afraid of the light within? Who has told you that the truth you hold inside isn't true? Who has told you that the dark surface we see is what is the only truth! Just as much dark there is, there is just as much light to be found! You only discover who you are by the fights you have had to go through!
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